Still surviving

[Surv1ve]

I haven't read your sitch from the beginning, but these are my generic thoughts.

The short and sweet: Nope! H@ll, no. And, again, not a chance.

As a queer person, I know lots of folks who are queer and lots of people who are poly/non-monogamous and those two communities overlap. I have seen SEVERAL people in long-term monogamous relationships (10+ years) experience a sudden demand from one partner to open their relationship. I mean, if you're monogamous but share spaces with poly communities, in the early throw of an MLC, it probably looks pretty tempting to just open the M. But, of course, even if the spouse agrees, if someone is in an MLC, they're going to find something else to go batsh@t about. In some cases, the spouse has gone along and in other cases the spouse has not agreed. In all four cases I am thinking of, it proceeded the imminent explosion of the relationship.

I mean, also, I am assuming your STBX has been typically MLC cruel and heartless rather than ethical in her considerations of opening her relationship.

And, when I read your stich, it seems like it goes fundamentally against your principles. No matter what it was, I would recommend against pretzel'ing and handing over your values in order to keep your partner. She doesn't respect you, and if you bend over on something important to you that wasn't part of your initial M agreement, then you will both lose respect for you.