So happy to hear from you and not surprised that you two got back together.
Very easy to understand your feelings and where they come from, but and here's a big but, I think you both are expecting too much, too soon.
I think it is too soon for you to tell him that you will never have a relationship with them again. I think it is too soon for him to tell you that is a deal-breaker.
I would suggest that you ask him for time. Time to work on the two of you and strengthen that bond and bring that back together before you begin adding in all of the wildcards that make that situation more difficult.
I would suggest that you approach him with a compromising spirit. Tell him that you want the focus to be on the two of you. That you don't want him to lose time with his family and that you guys can plan around that until you have had more time and more distance from the pain and can see what kinds of effort they are also making to repair the relationships.
This is the kind of thing that can look very controlling, very quickly if you are not careful. Yes they were horrible to you, but they supported him in a difficult time as you would hope any family would do (even if the way they went about it was not good and even if you were on the wrong side of it).
Something else to consider, perhaps sooner than later, is a post-nuptial agreement to help you allay some of your financial concerns in view of the fact that you have been the breadwinner, that the family betrayals are tied to the financial distrust, and, let's face it, your H has not been good about taking care of business.
