I am still working on it, but I am coming to realize that I may have to be a bit more flexible on the marriage part as much as I don't want to.
What do you mean by "flexible"?
Quote:
In one of our text conversations and in the texts to the OM, she said that she is to blame because she had been lying to herself about being happy. This threw me off a bit because she did blame me too. Was this to gain sympathy, or do you think she may have meant It?
She really means it.
One thing in your preparation is bracing yourself to hear the very worst, and see her worst. H's are always saying how the W threw him off guard. That's b/c he's not staying on his toes. You have to be prepared at all times, b/c she has a bag of tricks that she hasn't even used yet.
Prepare yourself by talking to your lawyer and seeing where you stand legally, and your rights as a father.
Get prepared by protecting your finances. Take her name off your credit cards, and take your name off hers. You may need to set up a private bank account that she won't have access. You could keep enough in the remaining account for household expenses. Many WW's have cleaned their H's out, right before leaving him. Anything else you can do to protect yourself financially, do it now. Your lawyer can advise you about it.
Implement the 37 rules. Btw, I thought you made too much of a big deal of helping her look for her phone charger. That was her job, not yours. It sounded as if you were bending over backwards to recuse it for her. Old habit?
Finish reading DR, and any unread links on Cadet's homework page.
GAL, GAL, & GAL.
Take time to really think about what you will do if your W refuses to cooperate. Do you have the courage to physically separate? If not, then I suggest you not approach her about an A.
In the meantime, if she comes to you about wanting a D and you begin to panic........say nothing. But if she wants in-house separation, tell her she can move out, but you won't stay under the same roof if she can't be your W. ( I've never seen a successful in-house S). Do not agree to pay support her financially.
How are you doing with detaching?
I'm going to copy & paste a shorter version of DB detaching.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
