waw maybe #2

[bhappy2]

I wrote this in sept of 2009 and gave it to her:Didnt realize I would be going through this again

Hi, My Wife,

I just wanted to write you an e-mail to let you know how much I care about our marriage. I know you are going through a hard time with things and quite frankly so am I. I do not think I can live like this thinking that you care more about someone else, I am getting the feeling that you are hiding something from me. I hope I am wrong. You have said things that lead me to believe there my be someone else, one thing you said was that you didn't want to hurt me, W that is something someone says when they have found someone new. You say you have no one... also when you went to friendly's with that guy it did bother me. I need to work on my sarcasm and I will, I have always loved you but if you are not feeling the same way then we should separate. You say you need time but we have been together for 18 years through thick and thin and now after 4 days you are not sure if you still want to be married to me.

You saw me crying and you didn't even care. I am still the father of your children I would think you could have a little loyalty towards me, I am not that bad of a person, you make it sound like I have abused you for years and its simply not true. You have found a new friend in Lauren, you seem to want to spend more time talking and hanging out with her, I really don't understand why you would sacrafice your sleep just to talk to her. What can you be talking about that can't wait until you wake up. I believe that you have talked about our situation with her and maybe she is advising you because you aren't happy.

Also when I am trying to have a talk with you, you seem to want to avoid any serious questions, you hide your eyes or say you are too tired. You use avoidance which is a tell tale sign that there is someone else. After 15 years of marriage you just don't tell your spouse that you are not sure you want to be married. You should say H we really need to work on this, ITS SERIOUS, then I would have an opportunity to work on it. At this point I am in a situation where I can not conduct myself in normal everyday life. If your goal was to mess me up you did but I can not live like this. I stood by you through many things and always will, even if we get divorced I will never run you down because I have respect for the person you are, but there is some culpability on you especially if you found someone new. You say you haven't done anything wrong or had an affair, but even if you are talking at work with someone thats wrong enough.

I hope you are just going through a phase and maybe its stress but if I am right then I think you should come clean, after you read this come in the bedroom and say H I have something to tell you and be honest with me and yourself. Because I could except the fact if you wanted to leave me, but most of the time someone leaves another person its because of infidelity.

Whatever I am asking, you say you don't know But unfortunately I need an answer, like I said I can't do this anymore. Sleepless nights and driving scared are not what I need, if you have lied to me lets work on it... tell me what you are thinking ... now I have played all my cards professing my love for you and my family so you can now play with my emotions that is why I am writing this because I will not let it happen. If you really cared you would be saying yea H it feels good that you care about me and lets work on our marriage. But if its to late then lets move on if you have someone else I will eventually find out anyway. I am writing this because I have made a decision that I can let you go... as hard as it would be I would have no choice but to move on... the children would have to understand that you left me because you simply stopped caring about me, (very rare) that someone leaves for this reason.

I always thought you were different then the rest of these idiots out there, but now I don't know, you say you want to go to Jersey with you friend Lauren, why do you have to drive? Why would you take away from your family to be with someone you met 2 months ago. It just doesn't add up it doesn't make sense and if it doesn't make sense then someone isn't telling the truth.

Come in the bedroom and jump on me give me a hug and tell me that you really dont want a divorce and that you love me or I think we should start the seperation process. I am desperate to know what is going to happen... I do and always LOVE you!!!!