Newbie In Need Of Guidance

[sandi2]

What do I need to say/do/act? I need to get a game plan together for this ASAP, as I feel like the talk will be coming sooner rather than later.

Why do you think it is coming soon? Are you sure it's not more you wanting to "do something"?

You referred to it as the R/A/D talk. Are you planning to talk about all three at one time?

When I mentioned a plan of action, I did not mean that having a talk was the plan of action. I will be glad to help you with a plan of action........but I can't tell you word for word to say. I can try to direct you.

You are only on day three of following the rules.

I would say to begin mentally preparing by seriously thinking about your core values, standards and principles. Then list the things in life you will not live without. (I am not referring to objects). Then, list the things you will not tolerate in your relationships.

I think you need to study boundaries, before opening your mouth too big and undertaking a serious talk with her. As I've previously said, she will more than likely deny and lie about an A. If so, then what will you do? Are you going to demand she quits her place of employment? Do you know how a transparency plan works?

Didn't you say you really had no evidence she's in an A? If not, she'll easily make you feel like you are imagining everything.

I can tell you what she'll probably do......after she denies and lies. She'll probably start griping about how you are to blame for everything wrong in her life. If she does, then what will you do? Have a long drawn out R talk? Nothing will be resolved. You are not ready. You prepare by learning more DB and applying the techniques. This can't be fixed by talks.

If she comes to you and says she wants a D, you can tell her that that is not what you want....but you will not stand in her way. Do not agree to do the filing.

It's late for me, so I will try to get back to you tomorrow. In the meantime, please cool it and don't get into a R talk.