Newbie In Need Of Guidance

[rminer]

Day two of the 37 rules was pretty easy. She was taking the youngest two to the museum with a friend (not OM) and left before me. Didn't say a word, just left.

When I got home from work, I made a little small talk. "How was the museum?" "Were the roads bad?" etc. Nothing big. Just got minimal answers in return.

When I went to bed all I said was "good night" and got a grunt of a goodnight back.



Day three, yesterday, was a bit rougher.

I went in the kitchen about 11:30 am to get another cup of coffee. My W was there getting breakfast and I gave her a simple "hey," but got no reply. By the look on her face I could tell she was in a bad mood.

I left to get some things around the house done and finished up about 2pm. When I came in, she was doing dishes. I cleaned up and put on some "nice" clothes. Nothing fancy, just nicer than I usually wear (jeans/T'shirt or sweatshirt), shaved my neck and did my hair (day's off it is usually a baseball cap when I am going out).

I went downstairs to stoke the fire before I left and went back up stairs to wash my hands. By this time is was a little after 3pm. She was standing in front of the kitchen sink where my wedding ring was. I said "excuse me" and got the response "yeah."

When she said that, I simply said "is something bothering you?" "Yes" was the reply. I asked if it was something that I may have done. She said "Yes. I don't want to talk about it right now. I take it you are going somewhere." I confirmed that and said "I have a few things to do." She asked when I would be back. I gave the answer "I don't know."

At this point she started in with "I'm tired of having to cart these kids around everywhere all of the time." I asked if there was somewhere they had to be that I did not know about. She came back with "God, I can't do this any more. You know they have to be to dance and Karate." I simply said "Yes, and I am planning on taking them this week. What time? I don't remember." "Of course you don't. 6:30. You took them last week." I said "That is all I needed to know."

I followed it up with telling her that I am not going to argue with her, she doesn't need to get mad at me and that if she needs something, ask. I have no problem helping when I can. She replied with "like that works." I simply said "It would if you would try."

She then started in on how her van is a POS and that I should let her drive my car since it just sits all day when I am at work. At this point I just left the room. Her van has an exhaust leak and when it idles (only when it idles) you can smell exhaust with the heat on. Not much, but it is there. I have an appointment to get it fixed on Monday, but I feel like canceling it at this point.

A little background on the car situation. Since we have been married she has always had the better vehicle. I wanted it that way because she has the kids with her. I drive 30k+ miles per year and drive a car in to the ground before I replace it. Her van is getting older and has some issues, but she tends to over dramatize things. Last winter my car died. I offered to fix mine so we could replace hers in the spring, but she insisted that I get a newer car. She was worried about me driving the one I had and that I deserved it. Now she is holding it against me.

That was the end of it.

She had been upset with everyone most of the day. My youngest daughter said that she had been getting progressively worse throughout the day. (It is her time of the month. A little extra emotion mabey?)

When I returned from my errands, she seemed to be in a better mood. We left and came back about 2 hrs later. When we came in she was sitting in our bathroom on the edge of the tub with her phone plugged in texting someone. She was dressed to go out. Not fancy, but hair done, makeup and nice jeans.

She didn't tell me where she was going, but I overheard her say she was meeting a girlfriend who needed to talk. She left and came back about an hour later with some groceries, saying that her friend had to cancel because of the roads. She also said that they rescheduled for tonight, so I don't expect her to be home tonight when I get there.

It got even more interesting from there.

About 11:30 her phone started to go dead, so she went to get her charger and couldn't find it - all she could find is the extension cord she uses. She has it on an extension cord and a 10ft data cable so she can sit on the couch and text/facebook/netflix constantly. She asked me if I knew where it was, and I told her that the last place I saw it was in the bathroom when she was sitting on the tub. She said that that is where she left it with her hair straightener.

She went on a rant about how our oldest D put away her hair straightener and that it is amazing how all her chargers constantly disappear. I asked if she had asked our oldest D and she said she did and that she claims she hadn't seen it. As she was doing this she was trying to recruit me to her side. I sympathized with her and said that I know it is frustrating because my chargers disappear too. I told her I looked but did not see it. I then asked my oldest two Ds, and they both claim they did not have it and said she "probably put it somewhere and forgot like she always does."

W went on to say that "When my phone goes dead no one will be able to get a hold of me, so don't try. When my van breaks down that will be really nice."

I actually think my oldest D took it. All of the kids are getting tired of the amount of time she spends on the phone and never putting it down. It is affecting their relationships and they are getting almost as frustrated as I am, but more on that another day.

At this point I told everyone good night and went to bed. No reply from W.

Third day of no hugs/kisses/I love you. Think she has noticed yet?