My daughter is not seeing a counselor. She has seen one in the past where she expressed her feelings regarding her dad and she wanted to talk with him in the presence of the therapist. He refused. We got in an argument. He hates therapists and doesn't want to be "blamed" So that went no where. She knows she can speak to me about anything and I also communicate with my therapist and she helps give me strategies. She loves her dad, she still wants to go there, so as long as she does, I am not going too much. I teach her what he does is not an OK way to handle things. It isn't something she should accept from any guy whoever comes into her life (also because mommy will kick his arse). She can't chose her dad, though. I know he loves her, but he only knows what he has learned. He is also so extremely close-minded and ignorant, that he believes things only as he sees them and when they aren't his way, or he is actually in the wrong, he cannot accept it.
Which brings me to the insanity of what he did. He wrote "Dad's" on the tag of D10's jeans. I couldn't believe it. What if a friend sees that? How embarrassing for her! He confronted him, and his answer was "OMG, Annoying" Her clothes are her clothes. These are the jeans he swore I had, but I know I returned. Well, it turns out they were in his house the whole time, but that place is a disorganized pig sty.
No matter how positive I try to be, I am seriously crawling out of skin these days. I can't stand the isolation. It's work (which is quite awful right now)home, sit on couch alone after D10 goes to bed. My physical therapy is the highlight of my week, where I talk to other adults and my never going to happen crush. But I am going to the surgeon today, and who knows, it might be over. I am just loosing my goddamn mind. I have never so intellectually and emotionally bored in my life. I am busy as in I am always running to appointments and taking care of the household. But is so freaking lonely, I cannot even begin to explain. This is a new territory for me in this journey. At least last year I had the gym and my new friends. Then I began dating FF and that was great while it lasted. But this is not good.
Don, thank you for the kind words. I think the frustrating thing is I feel like I am doing everything right and getting absolutely no where, but going backwards instead. My D is at the point now where she happy hanging with mom, but much rather hang with a friend. I wish I could provide her even with family and cousins, but I can't. But when she gets the offer to be with a friend, she is there. And that's what I want for her.
I hope to god it comes together soon before I end up in the loony bin. H@ll, at least I get group therapy and arts and crafts time there.
Last edited by job; 01/17/1809:59 AM. Reason: edited a word
