Picking up Her MESS #2

[marina7]

Journaling,
I honestly thought that my feelings for my W went away lately is a heavy pain in my heart again missing her especially waking up. I always thought I was going die old holding my W hands taking my last breath with her. Again I been a fixer always fix the problems we had or anyone this is the first time in my life I can't fix this what ever this is. I question and even look through old text W was so happy and smiling and even told me how much W loved our family and Loved me. And like a light switch the light went out in her eyes and heart. It's been almost 10 months since I lost W and walk away from kids. Till this day I wish I knew what happen, I thought W was a strong Women to be able to fight any demons within herself.

W was loved so much by kids and me and W knew I always made sure she knew I LOVE her and appreciated everything she did for us. Now I just sit here replaying What happen to Us.

I thought with time my heart will get stronger, but I was wrong. I'll just keep praying W deserves to be happy I pray that God will lead her back to his kingdom and W would realize that everything in this world can be fix.

W37,Me39
S9,D9 and S8 
BD April 2017
Ow May2017
W moved out May2017 I think OW and W live together not confirm