E....as a father of two young D's I am really sorry for what you are going through, it brings tears to my eyes. Stay strong and I hope you and your family can find the peace you deserve.
My W and I parallel parent and have no contact with our children during the week unless the other parent attends one of their activities. The only time we talk is if something major happens like sickness, an injury or something like that. It was hard at first but I have got used to it over time.