Tooth is a bit sore. I've had a look and I've actually cracked it as well as the filling (it's a molar, right at the back).
I have a dentist appointment on Tuesday, so I have almost a week wait. And then however many days after that before I go back for the actual treatment. I have a feeling the dentist will say that it has to come out because of the cracked tooth. If it was just a cracked filling, I think she would just replace that...she's done that in the past. I'm feeling a little sorry for myself because of it.
One of the companies that I have done/do a lot of work for had cancelled all my work for January and February. They've also downgraded the title of my job, added some more responsibilities, and asked me to reapply/come for an interview. Weirdly the rate of pay remains the same. Turns out it's part of a bigger thing that's going on with the company, and not just about me and the work I've done for them up to now.
Upshot is that I have no work for January and February (and obviously no money coming in) and nothing on the horizon for after that.
In my past life I would have ended up on a downward spiral over it and feeling really low (and feeling low about myself too). I guess I had a bit of a victim mentality?
Now? It's weird. I can feel myself swithering. There's a small part of me that wants to just fall back into my old way of being. But there's a big part of me that doesn't want to, and wants to make the best use the time and energy I have now and for the rest of the day, and feel as good as I can about myself now and today.
I realise that the quickest and most painless way out of the totally unexpected situation I'm at the moment in is to sort my way of thinking about it, as it's the one thing I have control over. It's up to me how I make use to the time and energy that I have and I feel that I want to use them positively and proactively. I guess I've toughened up a bit over the past couple of years, eh?
I called the court that's dealing with the D paperwork, just to find out if it had been posted out. It had indeed been processed and been posted out. So I think it should be with me some time this week. It feels like I just can't wait for it to be finalised now. I don't talk about any of this with anyone, apart from you guys and the wonderful man I'm with now. He's been through a D (7 or 8 years ago now) but still has some contact with his EXW as they have two now adult children. She had an A with her boss.
So, as I wait for my dentist appointment next week, I have my CV to update (almost done with this) and mail off to a few people, my tax return to finish (almost done with this too), D to finalise, my mortgage to pay off and some savings to move around.
