Same ol' same ol' for the most part. Xw came by weekend before last to pickup the kids when she got off work and ended up hanging out talking for 5-6 hours and had a few beers. Lots of listening on my end and I see she is in replay, she was texting a lot w/ lady from her last job that she hangs out with/went out with all the time when things were terrible. She's 23-24. Also, dyed MLC friends hair blue and another Manson concert this upcoming weekend. Not that I had any expectations, just saw where she was and it was a huge reminder to leave her be and focus on me and the kids. I do find it odd she tells me where she is going and who with a lot now. Not that it matters to me, there is zero trust on my end.
We caught up a little she told me one x step s in law got divorced and some of her troubles, really not good.
Xw's phone was going off a lot and xw then told me that my "cousin" (one of two friends from college that I hung out with and xw later moved in with) and her h were having trouble and she had been talking to her a lot. I knew they had before xw's Mlc kicked off. Xw told me some details about how she says he treats her and I said something about how terrible it was, etc. Then xw basically said I made her feel the same way (stupid) I told her I was sorry that I never meant to make her feel like that. I can't remember exactly what all was said but xw tried to project this on me. I told her I never did those things to her, then she said you did. I asked how and then she told me a story about her mom. I'll spare the abusive details but at the end of it was xw being called stupid. The vibe changed drastically and then we both said let's not talk about this and things went back to normal friendly and light the rest of the night.
OMG, I hope she's not dishing out advice, projecting, etc. to x step sil and "cousin!"
This really gets under my skin. I will own that I wasn't always the best h but no one is. I never talked down to xw, never abusive, never thought less of her, talked bad about her, etc. In fact I always told people my w was awesome, and she was. I will own what I should but not this rubbish she is talking about. It's almost comical, its so unlike me.
I also saw a lot of anger (not directed to me), maybe some towards om, from xw. She talks about music (and energy-saving light bulbs, lol) A LOT. I mentioned that the singer from a band we liked kicked a lady in the face and how it s---s when you find out things like this about someone and you're a fan of their work. Xw has always had a thing for red head guys and she went on a mini rant about how all red head guys must be pos's, blah blah. Wow, lots of anger and I'm so guessing OM had red hair and can see she has unawarely now added him to her list of issues to be dealt with.
Enough about xw. I've been doing good for the most part but I've had some moments and one rough day. Idk quite what going on w/myself but I've been having little short swings of depression and sleep variances. The swings are usually short and I can snap out of it, except for the one day. Even down to minutes long, having some dumb trigger and then crying a few minutes then fine like nothing happened. Idk if I'm processing and letting go or what. I also had the opposite one morning, I felt really really good. This worries me a little but I guess I will keep an eye on myself lol.
Still struggling w/GAL but I'll get it. I've been planning on taking the kids on their first ski trip soon. Oh boy, Idk if I'm up for it but they caught onto ice skating quick. We were going to go over Christmas break but it was really cold so I decided to wait. I also got a text from a friend I haven't seen in quite awhile today. We're going to try to get together soon and maybe get a ski day or two in. Funny because I was just thinking a few days before I needed to get ahold of him. We're just far enough apart to be a pain to get together. I need to quit being lazy about going to Denver, it's quick if traffic is okay.
I also joined a new single parents meetup group so I may give that a try again. The last one I mentioned abruptly closed for some reason. Also making sure to play lots of positive music for me and the kids.
Last edited by job; 01/17/1812:59 AM. Reason: edited per the poster
