Ciluzen, I"m so very sorry to hear the latest. I don't post on here much anymore, but follow along with many and have for the last several years. You were one of the first people who responded to me when I posted all those years ago, and I really appreciated your response and admire the way you have handled your situation in the last several years.
I always felt that while many details were different our situations were quite similar...my H had/still has ?? what I feel is an inappropriate relationship with a coworker (I just recently found out she is newly divorced.) Please always trust your gut...I've found mine never failed me. I did way too much snooping and digging very shortly after my H left and found out much more than I ever wanted to know. I was not in a good place at that time and it really threw me for a loop. My hope for you is that time has healed some of your wounds and you are in a better place to deal with what you learned. It is never easy to hear these things...but I'm a firm believer that no matter what the truth always comes out.
I see absolutely nothing wrong with discussing things with your adult children. I completely agree with how you feel about them spending time with their Dad when she is around. My children are still minors and in the most age appropriate way I know how I've made sure they understand that the relationship their Dad has with his "friend" isn't something I'm Ok with, nor is it behavior I want to see them repeating as adults. It's such a hard balance.
So, I just wanted to say I'm sorry...it really stinks and let you know there are others out here who understand. You really are a rock star...keep being great! Such a huge loss for him.
M: Early 40s H: late 30s 2 kids under 10 M: 15 yrs BD: 7/14 S: 10/14
