.....and ever and ever and ever

[DonH]

I can't remember G, is your daughter seeing a councilor? I'm thinking no as she in general seems very well adjusted and very healthy. The concern is the damage he is inflicting. Now, it's not like battering or abuse like putting her in the corner for six hours or something, but it is writing on the slate of who she is and will become. It will make her not want to stand up to some people in the future. It will make her chose a man like her D. This is just how these things go. Is there any potential that a third party (not you) could help her address this with her dad? From what you've written over the years he doesn't seem like a really bad person and loves his D. I don't think deep down he wants to hurt D - he just doesn't know what he's doing. I can't help but think and certainly would hope that if a C sat down with the two of them and helped D get through to ex how bad she feels and what he is doing, it would at least lessen if not stop. It would also teach her a great life lesson that it is healthy to stand up for yourself and tell people if they are hurting you. This could be huge for her.

The fact that he is in law enforcement - whether a cop on the street, or corrections officer, a court officer, a special enforcement sector, whatever, many are cut from the same mold. This is not to disparage law enforcement, they just often have very similar traits - not unlike other professions. It's also why the D rate is so high for this profession. There is nothing you can do other than understand the mindset of this sector.

Finally on the OLD, you just sort of got back into it but for you, myself and many others, it just really does not work well, does it. Is there anything wrong with still "dabbling in it" - probably not. You may just have to widen your eyes on it. You evidently figured this latest guy out but not after writing here how you were nearly positive he was NOT catfishing or scamming you. I think you wanted to believe but you still figured it out. On the plus side you seem to be out there - at least more than some are. You are out with friends, you are out with people, out with your daughter. Look how you met the guy at the bar. Sure, it didn't work out, but he's just one of the 20 guys you need to meet before finding one to stick with. There was no harm there. It just was not a match - nothing wrong with that.

You could be dating someone right now if you wanted to. I'm sure of it. The problem is, you would not be interested in the guy. Right? We all have people who would date us but we don't feel the spark with them. You will also be entering a period where D starts to really spread her wings. She will not want to be with mom all the time. She will be with friends, she will, not too far down the road, go on a date with a guy and get her drivers license. It won't always be this way.

It's all about timing. You are doing so many things right, you just now need the timing to happen. It will. It really will - especially at your age. I know you feel like you are getting older but you are still very young, pretty, in decent shape, smart. You do have it going on. Many guys don't measure up to you and you don't have interest in them. Others may not be a match even if he is for you. It's a matter of time when it all comes together. Don't give up!