Good job sticking to your boundaries. IMO your w just wants you to pretzel for her.
I'm late on this but I'm glad you left w and d and stayed out of w's mess. I think that would've been a way to lose your d's respect and I know your kids are looking to you for support from the sane parent.
As for your last sentence, feel it and let it go. I've been there (still happens sometimes) but when I see my kids I know that thought is a knee jerk reaction to the pain xw has caused. Stay positive and don't let w taint your memories (or the kids') they were real, no matter who our spouses are today or what they'd like us to believe.
I like what Bttrfly posted! I was thinking about this on my drive today and was going to mention it if I updated my thread because I also need to be more kind to myself, sometimes I've found myself being my own worst critic.
