Vapo, water off a duck's back is sometimes easier said than done.
Ginger, My C is going to help my talk to her about this, and she is going to let me know if she thinks D needs to see someone. If she thinks so, she'll give me a referral.
Kaizen, the way we have it set up, whoever has her is responsible for calling. So I answer and talk to D a couple of minutes when she calls me, and I'm not calling her anymore. I also don't text her mother anymore when she doesn't call. I figure that's the best I can do.
Last night, D told me that mommy said that I was being selfish. That I just wanted to spend time with her, and not her and mommy (I don't know if D meant that as XW said I didn't want her to spend time with D, or if XW told D I didn't want to spend time the three of us together).
School is closed tomorrow. I took the day off of work. XW sent me a text asking if I wanted her to come get D. I politely declined, "thanks for the offer, but I'm taking the day off."
Tonight, D came into my bedroom while she was talking to her mother. Told her mother she wanted to come to her house tomorrow. XW told her that I was taking the day off. Then XW said, "you COULD have come here, but daddy wouldn't let you."
I sent XW a text. "Your comment to her that 'you could have come here but daddy wouldn't let you' isn't appropriate. You can't talk to her like that. You can't keep putting her in the middle of adult issues."
She responded with "I said daddy took off already. I;m talking to her not you right now."
I responded, "forget the legal issues we're dealing with. Feel free not to respond to this. That's fine. I'm just saying you need to stop what you're doing. You're continually putting her in the middle of adult things. It's wrong. It's bad for her. You are doing her harm by doing this. Please think about it. Please stop. You and me isn't you and her and it isn't me and her. Leave her out of this mess. Please think about it. Please.
Her response: "Legal issues that a dad wants to keep the child from the mother because the dad makes loads of money and can shell out for the best of everything! Yeah money isn't everything, EastTN! One day you will see that! You can't control me anymore with your words and what powers you had over me! You will see that one day, keeping her from me is the biggest mistake not me leaving you, it was you taking me for granted and then using me! We agreed verbally that you'd watch D the rest of the school year since I was in Othertown! Then you wrote paperwork up come to my house threatened my by saying that id I didn't sign them that I would be summonsed and I asked what does that mean? You said well there would be a police officer come here and give you court orders. Then I asked well what if I don't go. You said well you'll go to jail! You know you may have had me in the mental state that I was but I remember very clearly being told I risk going to jail! And then not a few days later I went in and signed the papers not really realizing about the D stuff but only the divorce. DO you remember what I called you for sitting there? It was to ask you if you was happy! You played me like a fiddle! You have used me, abused me in ways that don't show physical scars, you have hurt me more than I thought anyone could ever hurt me! You are still doing so by trying to take the only thing I have EVER done right in this [censored] world away from me! I allowed you to be around her all those years ago! You just come and never left! After we married the first thing you did was get me to sign Ds adoption papers. You used me all those years! I was never your wife, you never put me as 50/50 on anything. You had me believing that what was yours was mine and what little I had was yours. And you took EVERYTHING from me by taking D! Everything! You wanna sit there and say I'm not a good mother and I'm a bad person and everything else? Why don't you look in the mirror and ask who was there every second of every day of her life?! Who picked her up from school every day and dropped her off every day!! Who made sure she was taken care of every day! Who was with her every day! Now don't you dare ever call me a bad mother again! All I ever tried to do was to get you to spend more time with us and I couldn't! Now you're forced to spend more time with D since you are using her to get back me me because I tore the family apart! No because you was only the good husband, actually you was never there! We never did anything unless I asked. I never spent money because I never knew how much we had. I didn't do a lot of stuff that you say I did but or didn't do! But that's just how you remember things. I remember though that you was only home about 5 hours a day and your time and mind was never with us! Then on the weekends we was lucky if we did anything. I have shouldn't have more to say but I do, I'm just done with it for tonight. P.S. you can stop insulting me with your bs and saying oh thanks for the offer!"
Me: "I'm not going to fight about our marriage. Ever again. We disagree on what happened. And I think we're passed ever being able to talk about it. Please don't put our daughter in the middle of this. I'm literally begging you. Please XW. She says things that break my heart. Not because they hurt me (some of them REALLY DO hurt) but because they're things she shouldn't ever have to deal with. Leave it between us. Leave it to the lawyers. Please leave her out of it."
XW: "Of course you think it is bc of the marriage. You never see the point and always flip everything where I'm the bad person. Bravo EastTN thanks"
