I need to go back to reading and thinking about detachment. I am actually great when the Monster is out. But when he's been a guy I like and I slip into expecting that to continue, I get bitten.
Sure enough, I came home and he apologized for asking me if I was okay when he didn't have capacity to listen. He even said, "I was uncomfortable that you were having emotions and I tried to fix them into something I was more comfortable with. That's actually super controlling and it's all on me."
He said he feels like he SHOULD be the person who is emotionally responsive but he just needs to own that he often isnt and live with that rather than trying to be someone he can't be right now.
He talked about how stressful the holidays/our birthdays filled him with anticipatory stress and he knows is less aware when he's anxious.
So self aware sometimes but just as stuck as everyone else. Detachment, I must practice.
BD#1: "marriage is over" 9/14/2016 H in basement 24/7 with EX/OM BD#2: 3/20/2017 I plan to move out "soon" I LRT me: 42, H, 41, EX/OM, 37 D 10, Son 7 M to H = 20 years EX/OM moved in 10 years ago
