Blu, I want to first say that I'm glad to have met you here. You have a way of expressing yourself through words that resonated with me, and I was always routing for you.
However, you've changed, I see in you similarities to my ex after the ILYBNILWY speech.. I will again say, it doesn't matter to me if you hurt your cheating spouse, but I feel like you've changed.
If you were honestly giving 100% to your M, I can't imagine there is much that you've said here that you haven't said to your spouse, but if there was, then I wonder if you were really trying to reconnect.
I wish the best for you, whatever that means for you.
M - 9 1/2 years 5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA 10/31/16 - We sold house 01/10/18 - D Finalized