Thanks for sharing your thoughts on those subjects. So one of my wrinkles is that stbx and I were friends long before we dated. When we started dating we knew each other quite well so things immediately were serious and engagement and marriage soon followed. Stbx says those “best friend” feelings have always been there and still are...it’s the romantic attention and sexual excitement she is missing (we had sex a couple times a week for 20+ years so neither of us were sex starved...but it was more boring and routine than she wanted it to be). It’s the regrets of getting M too young, not dating too many others, giving up career to be a SAHM...and wanting those things now...before it’s too late.
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Journaling and venting:
So stbx got home all happy from weekend with OM2 and instead of being cool and detached, I was short tempered and grumpy. She couldn’t figure out why I wasn’t thrilled to see her and wanting to spend time with her.
She finally brought up her notes and asked me why I hadn’t talked to her about them. I said I didn’t think it was appropriate to communicate on those subjects via notes. She was particularly dumbfounded that I didn’t take the bait on “it I break up with OM2, will you work on us” note. I said I think I’ve said enough on this topic. You know that I do not believe in open M and therefore will not engage with you while you are in a R with another. I refuse to be a backup plan or plan b. She said I wasn’t and that she is just really confused about what she wants and needs more time to figure it out.
She asked about my move. I reiterated that there were no change in my plans. I needed to move out so that I could move on with my own life without her.
I asked her again why she wouldn’t sign the D agreement. She said she isn’t going to sign the D agreement if she is not sure of what she wants and right now she doesn’t know.
Today is one of those days that I wish I never met my stbx. I feel guilty even saying that but it’s how I feel today.
Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids 2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong 2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2 2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
