Newbie In Need Of Guidance

[rminer]

Ok. First day to the 37 Rules is done. It felt wrong, but good at the same time.

To explain, I will start with Saturday. W texts me at work about something at home, so I respond within a few minutes. I know, mistake #1. During the conversation, I tell her to be careful when she goes out because the roads were terrible and that it took me an extra 45 minutes to get to work. Mistake #2. She relates to the comment and says it was like when she was driving to see her mother in the hospital every day last year in white out conditions. I compliment her, saying it was a good thing she did because a lot of people don’t bother to go see family in the hospital. Mistake #3. She said “that’s because people suck.” She opened the door wide open on this, so I couldn’t resist. I replied “I don’t know how people can do things to hurt the ones they are supposed to love.” I got no response from that one. Mistake #4, but I couldn’t resist the chance to add to her guilty conscious. The day did get better from there.

Later in the day she text to ask if I could pick up one of our daughters on the way home. Since I drive right by, I said I could. Once I got home, she was not there and I was told that she was out with one of her friends all day. I do a few things I needed to do around the house then got in to the shower. In the meantime, W comes home.

When I get out, I put on some nice clothes and start getting ready to go out for the evening. I was going to my company Christmas party, but she didn’t need to know that. W announced to me that she is going out, so I needed to make sure the kids were fed. I was almost ready to leave at this point. I simply said “You have been out enough lately and have been gone all day. It’s my turn.” I put on my coat and left. I rolled in about 3am with W “sleeping” on the couch.

The next morning, she was in the kitchen doing something and I went to get another cup of coffee. I greeted her with a simple “good morning.” All she could manage was giving me the Death Glare. I think I may have hit a nerve.

The rest of the day was a bit of nice/not nice by her. I was working outside and at one point opened the door and called to one of my kids to get a glass of water for me so I didn’t have to take my work clothes off. W said “I’ll get it” in a very cheerful manner and brought it to me. Later I needed a small tin, which she has many of. I asked if she had a spare, and she said “sure.” Got up found one for me and seemed happy to do it. Later, she made enough dinner for everyone – except me. I knew it was too good to last.
The rest of the day was only necessary communication. No hugs, kisses or “I love you.” First time I have not done those things since before we were married.

Not easy, but I did it.