I simply responded that I will not argue and went about my afternoon.
Excellent!
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Being alone is killing me.
Quoted for reference to the below:
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I have done a lot of introspection to try to determine if I'm codependent. I guess maybe there is a small amount? Maybe that's normal in any marriage to a degree.
If being alone is killing you, then you are very codependent. And yes, it is quite normal in a marriage. The longer the M, the more codependent you become. I suspect if we knew BD was in our future we would all be a hell of a lot less codependent in M, which ironically might have saved many of our M's. Anyway a large part of DB'ing is breaking the bonds of codependence and finding out who Joe really is, what makes Joe tick, and how Joe can find happiness without depending on others to feed it to him. You'll get there, it just takes some (here comes that bad word) time.
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Yeah I know I'm not alone, but you all get what I mean. That missing piece of my heart that can't be filled by any other part of my life because those parts already have their own places in my heart.
It hurts, no question about it. And there's more hurt where that came from. And then some more. But you'll toughen up, raise your walls, protect yourself and the hurt will hurt you a little less each time. Eventually you'll drop the rope, break the bonds and free yourself. You'll become Independent Joe. It's something to look forward to!
