Told her I didn't care about the tattoo, but I was concerned with the fact that this is the second time in 2 days she has told us she would be home at a specific timeand flaked out. That it wasn't fair to me or the kids. They had their hopes up to see her. So I told her that she can't be telling us she is coming and not show up anymore...
I get what you are saying, but to her ears you sound like you are whining. If you have decided to let her have her way and do what she wants, then I suggest you not complain about it. I understand it is not fair to the kids, but you can't have it both ways. I mean, if she's going to do whatever she wants to do.....then don't whine to her about disappointing the kids. Do you understand what I am saying?
When you read Divorce Remedy, you will see a technique that is called "Dropping the Rope". Considering your situation with this wayward W who is addicted to pills and who wants to live like Girls Gone Wild....and considering your Nice Guy Syndrome, I think Dropping the Rope would be the route for you to take.
DTR (Dropping the Rope) is when you have no power in the relationship with your WW. Your words make no difference to her. Therefore, you emotionally let go, just as if you were at the end of a rope you had been holding onto for dear life.....and then you finally let go. When you let go of your WW, you take your focus completely off her and put it on you and the kids.
Take care of your children and yourself. You cannot depend on her to do what she says, so stop counting on her. Plan your day as if she won't be there. Plan for just you and your children. If she decides to show up......okay. If she decides not to show up....okay. Don't act disappointed or tell her she let the kids down b/c she wasn't there. Don't act excited if she does show up. This wife & mother has chunked her H and her kids aside in order to live a wild lifestyle, and she is taking no responsibility.
If you will emotionally and mentally separate yourself from her, I think you have a chance at building a healthier life for you and your children.....considering they have her as a mother.
Do you have a responsible person who could babysit for you sometimes?
Do you have a full time job, or are a stay at home dad?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
