Huddy, you are so incredibly attached. SO ATTACHED. You look desperately for signs that she misses you, you look at her account activities and try to guess where the money is going, if she is in debt, if she isn't, where her money is going, if she is in trouble.... if she looks too good to be doing what she really is doing.....
Huddy, you have got to let go. You need to think of her as no longer your wife. She's got her life, you got yours, and no matter how bad the security is on her accounts, you need to stop checking them for a sign of something. You should have not looked at that statement. You say "not my problem" but you know you are looking to see if she is actually happy, if she might dig herself a hole so deep that she decides to come back ect....
I understand you miss her terribly. It is very hard to lose someone you love. I think it's harder to lose someone you love when they are still living and breathing. But I think you fully need to go through all the stages of grief so you can detach and move forward. She's not coming back right now. ANd even if she did, not for the right reasons. Who knows what the future brings, but there is pretty much no chance if you keep holding on so tightly. And there may not be any chance, but you need have severed the emotional ties in order for you to move on one day. Either way, if she does her self work, comes back a healed woman, or it doesn't happen, you will have cute the strong emotional bond which will do wonders for your healing. Trust me, I have been there.
