If I were in your shoes, I would do the consult before the trip and then filing upon your return. It's going to take a wile for all of the paper work to be completed and you would like to have some idea what will transpire.
You handled your meet up w/our MIL very well. Hopefully she won't say anything to your h about him doing the work. I understand your thoughts on doing it yourself and you will handle the process w/dignity and grace because that's the person you are.
As for the insurance, another positive for you and I'm sure you are happy to be able to keep the USAA insurance. They are a great company.
