Mleigh - I so understand you feeling the need to take the power back after so many years of patience. Funny thing is that I feel my power has been given back to me by my h filing. Being Catholic it takes the decision out of my hands and leave me no choice but to go forward. Gosh, if he slows down this process though, yikes ...

As for when to do it, do it like my h is doing it: text him 24/7 insisting he do the next step RIGHT NOW! Then send him nasty messages when he does not comply.

I understand the peace you feel. I am right there with you. I am very sad for my kids, but I loved your line that this is not what I wanted but we'll get through it as a family. So very dignified. I may steal that one.

Your h is not well. What a phenomenal waste of four years. It's quite frustrating to watch. So must wasted time.

I wish you continued peace and happiness in 2018.

Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13
BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself
BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room"
8/15: H back to MBR
10/15: H back in dorm room
1/18: H files, now divorced