Bye bye limbo -- it's time for a change

[mleigh4]

Hey everyone, thank you so much for your presence and support. Cali, I burst out laughing at your Apple cart description, just so true!

I am still reeling from catching up on HaWho!

Ok, Well this week continued to be busy for me. I am on H USAA car insurance policy. I found out, as his spouse, I am a member for life after divorce, and split off into my own insurance policy! I was so worried about losing their great rates and benefits, another weight off my shoulder. I can't describe the joy in separating myself from him one step at a time.

Had a heart to heart with MIL! So her H went on a month long road trip. They are taking the break to decide what to do about their marriage. She is pretty sure they will divorce and is getting her ducks in a row. I took this opportunity to let her know I am going to file myself. I was very careful about anything I said, and let her know I was respectful of her being H mom in this situation. I did tell her though,that I resented the fact that I had to be the one to make the decision and will now be doing the work. Right away she said I should insist that H do this, since he is the one refusing to work on the marriage. I just laughed, told her I have several times and nothing happens. She was very confused by that, said she doesn't understand, is he happy living in limbo?? I told her, I believe he is happy being on his own, that I don't think it's about another person (which she agreed, said she always looks for a sign in his home and has seen nothing) and I don't think he is trying to be cruel, that I think he just simply isn't capable of handling the emotional and physical steps to make this happen. She apologized! She actually apologized, said she was sorry for her son's behavior and never raised him to be this way. I told her I appreciated that, but at this point, you really can't blame the parents as H is a grown 45 year old man and is making his own choices.

She suggested that she would tell S that he should be the one to do this. I told her no, at this point, I am ready and willing to handle this. I didnt share this with her, but between us here, I actually WANT to be the one to do this, for me, for a step towards my freedom from him. I feel empowered now by doing this step. Again, fear is gone. Now it's just about me and taking care of this. MIL also compared where she was at in D with H dad, and D now. She confessed that she had so many regrets with H dad, and wished she had handled things differently instead of rushing the divorce. She said this time, she has given it time and thought, and is going into it with peace. I told her, I know exactly how you feel. We hugged, with a toast to our new year and new lives. I have to chuckle, we have come far in our relationship.

H and I both attended an award ceremony for S on Friday morning. I had meant to bring H a bear claw from work and forgot, so he followed me to my office to get one! Our sitch is so strange, isn't it? I have to laugh, but hope this peace and friendship stays throughout the divorce.

I gave H all the divorce info and have gotten crickets, which was expected. I have chosen who I will work with, so next step is consult appt. Now I need advise. ..wait until after our snow trip in Feb? Or maybe consult but don't file until after snow trip? Just seems it may make it awkward....

Everything going smooth here, now back to catching up. Wishing us all a nice night.
M