Just checking in with another non-update. Been reading along and I feel for every one and what many of our posters are going through. It's been a rough-go.
I'm tired. I want this divorce done with and put behind me. I can't take this craziness anymore. Ex doesn't get to me, but the situation does and I just want to be free.
I had a bit of a dip last week in regards to my sitch and I've been carrying around this stress that just won't go away. I had my first migraine on Friday morning which was a scary experience. I thought I had just worked out too hard in the morning, but got kind of spooked when my vision got blurry and swirly. Stupid me thought it was no big deal. The pre-cursor passed pretty quicky, I went to work and then was immediately hit with this insane headache and nausea. Went home and slept it off. I hope it was a one time thing. It was not fun. I feel weird still....kind of cloudy like I haven't recovered it from yet, but I'm functioning as usual. Just not 100% myself. I hope it wasn't triggered by the stress I'm under with the divorce.
I'm not a fighter. I'm not aggressive. I'm fair and honest in nature. I don't have drama in my life. It's just not me. But with ex.... I feel like all I'm doing is fighting. Fighting for fairness, Disputing lies, and working really hard to not get sucked into his nonsense. Ugh. It's crazy. I've spent my day working on more legal stuff, working on legal statements, etc. I just hate reliving this.
Had a convo with my lawyer about it. In my gut, this isn't me, but I have no choice but to put all my energy into playing defense. I was telling him, I can't believe I have to do this and go down this route I don't want to go in, but I have no choice. I'm still dealing with a bully. Even my lawyer is getting fed up with ex's shenanigans.
Ugh. Well, I know that was kind of vague. I'm just stressed over this. It just won't go away and I'm exhausted. Pllleeeaaaaasssseeee. I just want to be free.
HaWho... If you're reading along... Know I'm thinking about you often. I even shed a few tears. Nobody deserves to be treated like this. You're strong, you can handle this..... It's just all very familiar. At the beginning of the divorce process I went through EVERYTHING you are going through. His mantra is- If you're not with him, you're against him and he will do everything to make sure you lose. Please take care of yourself.
All in all, I personally am ok. Just coming here for a place to release. Very thankful this place exists and thankful for all of you.
