Picking up Her MESS #2

[marina7]

Sandi2,
Thank you, your absolutely right I guess somewhere in my heart I don't get how you can't love kids. Like my therapist said you may never get the answer and she is right. Somewhere in my head I always been a fixer just like Jim I wanted and wish I could fix W. I tell my therapist is like a light switch went off W was once a good mom she had her moments now I can see she was fighting with herself she wanted to be a mom but also the enforcer. I guess I'll keep holding on to those good moment's I remember her as.

Yeah now am realizing I push for kids and if I ever speak to her I'll make sure she knows am sorry I push so hard. Only W knows if she loves them but like my therapist said how can she love them if she doesn't love herself which therapist is correct. And W did say she didn't LOVE herself. Only W knows the answer to all the questions I have. But I may never get the answer so am learning that.

Sandi2,
Illinois law is 50/50 when parents seperate now she is not going tell her lawyer she doesn't want them because then she will have to pay child support and as of now W is about $$$ that's all I hear. Now we going to court my lawyer wants to get kids a litem which is a lawyer for them W said No mu lawyer said yes and it was pro bono my lawyer was confuse why refuse I know why she knows is going look bad when kids all three start speaking and she might lose all kids due to her mental state. So for now kids must go with her and if she mistreat them or anything I call L right away. Illinois law recording is not allowed unless she knows. Again my hands are tied at the moment until Judge decides. I have to say this is the hardest battle I had to deal with and God knows life has been hard for me growing up.

Just like Jim I am not close to my family nothing but drama with them. I have always been more of the outsider in my family. I have a spiritual soul my thoughts are everything in this world can be fix, life is to short to be angry. Am very forgiving hate holding grudges. I am just a very lay back person. Even through everything W put me through I know she is Human we all do mistakes and am not God to judge her so for now all I can do for W the mother of my kids is pray for her and hoping she'll find herself back to God first then her way back to our kids life.

Am not sure if W and I could ever get back there's to much hurt and pain. But I have forgiving her and I will forever hold LOVE for her W was my LOVE of my LIFE my soulmate. Only God knows my LOVE for her.

W37,Me39
S9,D9 and S8
BD April 2017
Ow May2017
W moved out May2017 I think OW and W live together not confirm.