Former WH, now LBS Please Help, close to Give Up

[betheoa]

Hello, I have read here around the year or more, before that I was follow other forums and other sites, and I am not sure where I am, what to do. Please help me to find optimum about my stich.
I will summarize my today situation, in next posts will share more about whole story.
- Together 18 years, Married 12
- S10, D8
- Sexless marriage, neglect kids\Wife from my side, thought life, always we agent’s other, nice guy syndrome (especially regarding sex), she was controlling one and manipulative.
- 6 years ago I become WH (I can share why\how and so on, if someone is interested). In 6 months went back to my sense, and realize that I was wrong, and I want to be better man/father.
- During my WH period my W suspect about maybe I am\have unfaithful
- 5 years ago, W put me in 1 mount hell to convince everything I have done\lay, if I do we will heal our R/M and will have better M. I believe her, and confess. I already was sorry about everything I have done. I was remorseful, I have answer every question I was full transparency.
- After my confession, W put me in blame/punish mode for 3 years (become WAW)
- 2 Years ago she falls in Love (limerance) to one OM1, It was like EA, but mostly one side, he maybe just flirt with her. Become WW
- One year ago she falls in Love (limerance) to one OM2, harder EA, OM2 flirt more hard, but I think there is not full blown EA. Still WW
Why I am here? I leave in hell already 5 years, I am half person (mentally, half of my brain is stuck about my stich), I am close to give up.
I need some advice what to do with OM2, she definitely in limerance for him (we are just friends), I believe her about OM1 (we are just friends) and she ended up with OM2. What to do now? Being doormat (I can do that)? She does not want to divorce (she told me, I am free to live if I do not want to be with her). If I can say this-she like this Cake eating very much.
I have read a lot from this forum, but as former WH she uses this card (my past faults) every time she can.
Please ask question, and I will answer, there is too many events\situation and I am not sure what is important to share and what is not.
Thanks in Advance