Wow. I don’t think I’ve ever got such a unanimous decision. Well, I take your advice seriously so I have really tried to step away from that particular drama and avoid the triangulation (new concept for me). D1 and I continue to talk about things and I do talk to her as an adult child. Stbx interestingly told her not to blame me and that dad did nothing wrong and that the D is mom’s choice. I know theoretically that divorce hurts children but somehow I thought it would be easier on the older ones. In my situation, I think it may be harder for them because they actually understand who is doing what to whom.
Separate thoughts / struggles that I thought I’d share in case it was helpful to others. These are personal and religious and not necessarily d b, so feel free to ignore.
I am a Christian. I believe in the Bible. I believe that even if we legally D, that I will still be spiritually married to my w, even if she is with OM2, 3, 4, etc. Stbx knows my beliefs even if she no longer shares them. I feel my beliefs make certain parts of d b difficult or impossible for me. Yes, I feel like I am now walking away. Yes, I don’t want to be plan b or the backup plan... but my beliefs drive me to not want to date or be in another R... to be faithful even if she is unfaithful ...until death do we part. If you know that George Jones song “He stopped loving her today”... I think that’s going to be me.
Stbx is having another clothing free weekend with OM2 which means I am alone with the kids again. This hurts less than it used to, but it still does hurt. Older kids know where mom is. Little kids don’t even ask.
Peace be with you all.
Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids 2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong 2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2 2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
