A new year... A new beginning

[Lana_71]

Happy new year to everyone... hope you had great time with your loved ones. I personally did kids had lots of fun especially that we had some family wedding and couple of parties which we all enjoyed.

Nothing much from h just some doradic msg mainly to the kids happy new year a so even the kids took ample of time to respond and sometimes they didnot. I sent couple of emails and some pictures but when I felt that even kids are not affected I let it go.i also sent a birthday wish which he thanked me vaguely.

For last couple of days it has been on my mind Divorce. My mom asked me what I am afraid of and I said mainly kids have exams now maybe leave it till May. But then I kept writing an email and deleting it multiple times as if afraid of his reactions . I think it is time to be assertive and he is not what I want at the moment. He does not talk to me , does not ask about me nor how I am managing, does not answer any of my question. Basically completely abandoning me so what am I afraid of . Shattering a dream ? Time to move on. I know it will not be easy but I need to move on.

I wrote an email requesting divorce which I think is better for me and the kids. I did say I am done with secrets and need to move on with my life. No blaming no attacking just what is best for me. He acknowledge receiving it and said will come back to me in a day... need to digest... really ....he pushed me so much to do that what does he expect... anyway I said nothing and let it be.

I feel ok after that day went smooth. Don’t expect anything tomorrow but will come back in a week to tell me ok how do you want to do that...

If so then I got the answer and will deal with that as it is better than being in limbo land.

Knowing his way I am not sure he will answer but maybe this time either he gets what he wants or his dignity will not allow him to stay married to someone does not want him . Whatever that is if someone does not care to fight for us or do anything we need we don’t need him in our life no more.

That is it for now I guess 2018 will be A new beginning....