Your children are adults, right? The biggest thing is not trying to get them to take sides by turning them against the other parent. My suggestion is to be honest with them. Respect them like adults. If my parents were about to D, I would be extremely upset if they didn't say anything until after it was final. But, that's just me. You may feel differently.
She wants you to cover for her at the party of 300 guests, her family, and the children. I don't know if she's told you, but she will also want you to take the blame.....or at the least, say it was a mutual decision to D.
She wants you to live with her for five years? She doesn't want to lose her benefits, apparently.
When will D be final?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
