At this point slow down and take some deep breathes. You are a long way to the finish line. If you are still open to recon please just try to not burn any bridges. If the party is planned just go along with it for your kids. I agree with you that your kids are old enough to know what’s going on after the party.
I am about a year ahead of you and I have been told I am still 3 months away from being D.
Let me tell you some of my story and what my W is finding out about a year after filing. She thought she was keeping the M home turns out she is not she can’t afford it. She loves this house and poured her heart and soul into it. The houses she is looking at are half the houses. She took bad advice and went to a lawyer when we were supposed to mediate. I have a friend who is a lawyer and she doesn’t know him from Adam and he lied to her and has charged 3000 more already then my lawyer. We always loved the beach and I have a family cottage we always went to in the summer. I went every minute I could this summer with and without the kids. She went to a local beach once with her cousin and her cousin said it sucked. Family- I still talk to her family and they all got me gifts this year (I have been told they can’t believe she is doing this) no one on my side of the family will talk to her. Friends- at some point they have to take sides. Guess who got invited to the New Years Eve big bash and who didn’t?
That is just the tip of the iceberg. As right now she hasn’t lost anything. Wait until the first time she is away from the kids for 5 days. Has to pay all her bills cut the grass shovel the snow. Then when she realizes the dating pool for a middle aged woman with two young kids may not be so great.
My point is that this may feel like the end but it is not even close. Don’t burn any bridges and try to make life difficult for her because believe me that will take care of itself.
