Contact from the dark side.

[CaliGuy]

That's a very good statement Irish ... you've done one helluva job with those girls

Happy New Year

[bttrfly]

{{{{{{{Irish}}}}}}}

You know as I read what eew said to the girls, I couldn't help feeling that there was a ton of resentment and jealousy that they had the family she didn't. Have you ever felt that or am I out in left field?

You're a great dad. Your girls are more like you, just as eew said, and that's a good thing my friend ! xoxoxo

[mirage]

Irish,

That is the one thing I learned here years ago. One parent has to be their rock and make a difference in their lives.

I know it's hard in the beginning but your journey shows that it can be done and that you and (kids, etc) can flourish by creating an awesome life.

Well done my friend.

Mirage

[Gordie]

Irish,

Thanks. I needed to hear that. My oldest is struggling with the loss of her family, in her words.

My stbx said those exact words: it’s my time. I need to think of me.

[SBJ]

Haven't they all said those exact words. It's in the script. The similarities are crazy, even though they act so different in other aspects of life.

[Irish M]

yes script.... it's scary but at the same time if you read the script before it happens seems almost comical. Like them learning their lines and presenting them to us the spectator. Only I won't be handing out any best actress awards any time soon to my XW.

Well by buddy who's own wife is deep in her own MLC. They have separated and he has his own place now.. He found peace but is finding it hard to disconnect. Watching her Facebook, driving by the house, asking anyone associated with her about her. She still throws him some bait when she feels him pulling away. Thank god he has no kids with her. He is deeply in love and still wearing the rose colored glasses. Time will fix that.

Well she, we will call her Sandy. Sandy and my buddy along with my XW and me would go out nights.. dinner.. drinks etc. It all went south when my XW hit her MLC. she deleted us all . Facebook etc.

a few months ago my buddy's wife Sandy has her own MLC. Affair, long distance soul mate, gambling, drugs, Botox, search for youth, spending all her money etc..

I keep my distance and try to help my buddy. In the meantime my XW adds Sandy as Facebook friend. I see this as a pop up .. Sandy is now friends with XW. I immediately delete Sandy because it was about the same time my XW said someone was feeding her info about me via FB.

time goes by.

Last week, my buddy says to me.
Sandy asked me why you weren't friends with her anymore on FB. ( she just realized so not that close a friend lol.)

My buddy says he told her that since she disrespected him I deleted her out of respect to him. And that because she added my XW, i wanted nothing to do with her.(true)

Then he goes on to say she was shocked. That since me and my XW are so close and friendly these days I shouldn't be upset. He asks her to clarify and told her that she still doesn't see the girls.

She tells him that... my XW said recently that me and my XW co-parent amazingly. That she sees the kids very often. That all the drama is behind us and all is good. happy happy.

If that was her wish and dream .. I wish for the same but we are far from that. I can't believe she continues to lie about her relationship with the kids. I really think she believes it too.

When I went for coffee months ago, she did tell me she was exhausted about making up reasons why she doesn't see the kids. So I guess she decided to just say she sees them. I wish she would send me some pictures of their outings. I'm curious where she takes them.

Her birthday coming up.. You never know, maybe she will wish to see them when blowing out the candles and a miracle will happen .

cheers everyone.
Irish

[OwnIt]

Very interesting story Irish. I have long suspected that my H must lie about our status and his involvement with the children.

When he left he told people that I was keeping him from the children. People are not stupid. There is no way he is still telling them that 15 months later. I have surmised, as your story, that he tells people that we are getting along fine and he sees the kids as much as he can.

Who knows if it is what she wishes it would be or whether it is just that most people don't have a framework for understanding a mother who walks away from her children, and like mine she is probably tired of having to counter the arguments about you preventing her from doing so (there are courts and emergency hearings right, everyone has seen at least one courtroom drama).

[peacetoday]

Many people live in denial
an alcoholic will believe they don't drink that much and they really believe it
a smoker believes the cigarettes won't really harm them

MLC er's all seem to have this in common
they lie and they believe their lies
It gets them through

My XH once looked me straight in the eye and said you wanted this D
like it was a mutual thing
he lied about his A until he got caught
he lied about his drug usage even while attending AA meetings
once in MLC he really lied about everything

its good you can see your wife for who she is
hopefully your friend will see his Mlcer also

[bttrfly]

my exh's solution is to move to another town and not see anyone. shrugs. it is what it is. I'm sorry your friend is in that tough place of still being so firmly attached. He is very lucky to have you.

xoxo

[HaWho]

Irish - wow, that must be awful to have to go around pretending to that level.

Roll on you Tank!