There are a number of us, me include that posts/reads other internet forums. The person that used the phrase "Stander" use to be on this forum and we still have some of the advice that the poster provided before she went off to create her own forum. There is nothing wrong in using that term here. We just can't mention the name of the other internet forum or links that are very similar to the Divorce Busting site, which you are posting to.
I, personally, think that wearing the rings sends a message out to people 1) you are standing and upholding your marriage vows until the fat lady sings. Wearing the rings, if seen by the MLCer could create some anger in them that you are still holding out hope that they will come back. Pressure? Yes, it can probably be seen that way to the MLCer when they are so darn adamant that the relationship is over.
If you see that something is working..stick to what is working. If not wearing the rings on the left hand tends to make things a bit less pressured for your MLCer, then don't wear them...as I pointed out, you can either wear them on the right hand, on a chain or set them aside for when your children are old enough and may want to have them for their future spouses, etc.
I took mine off w/the first bomb drop and have never put them back on. I had the diamond removed from the engagement ring and had a new piece of jewelry made with the diamond in it.
Think about what you want to do...I think you might like wearing a different ring on the left finger and you'll know that it's a space holder as you are a stander and no one else needs to know what is in the back of your mind.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
