When your wife does something nice w/o prompting from you or the kids, thank her. She needs to be recognized for these efforts. By doing so, it may go a long way towards her being nice and wanting "dad's" approval on other things.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
