Calling HaWho

[mm2bs]

HaWho,
You have gotten a lot of great advice so far from others much more experienced than me, but I wanted to throw my 2 cents in as well.

I think sometimes the fear of the unknown is much much greater than anything in reality. I hope you have seen the divorce complaint by now. I was dreading the day mine arrived in the mail, but honestly once I opened it and read it I was filled with a sense of relief. Like your H, mine was really out there when he filed and the complaint was full of errors even though it was prepared by a pretty competent lawyer. It was obvious my H had not read it and simply signed. Seeing this legal document I was so fearful of receiving so error-filled actually made me laugh and reminded me again my H was not in his right mind.

I'll reiterate again to make sure to take your time. Figure out what you want and go for that. I was fortunate that my H and I made about equivalent salaries. I've always worked and I was in charge of the finances, so I had a head start there. Custody was/still is our big battle and to me I was willing to give up money/child support to have more time with mine.

I see everyone's point about striking early while the WS is anxious to get out, but in my case it worked out in my favor to take a little longer. With time my H got a little less "crazy" and had I agreed to the initial proposal early on I would have ended up with much less. Many people IRL suggested I just settle, but in my gut I knew I needed to keep pushing. I am glad I did.

You know your H and your situation the best, so just keep listening to your inner voice. You have already shown an abundance of patience to last this long with your H, dig deep for just a little more so you can get what you want/need.