I think I want to keep the house after a D. I still need to think it over and all the options, and make sure staying in the house is not just an emotional response to lots of unwanted change.
Do not let her know this. My attorney advised me to not tell my W anything including this.
I hope for the best for you, but I also wouldn't respond to her asking me who I want to serve me... that is just wrong. If its me just serve me.
Bhappy, I agree with you. I did't tell her I want the house.
I told her I wanted to served by a stranger, and she arranged the process server to arrive to the house at 5 and I took the documents. The D petition was dated on the same day she wrote the complementary email saying all the nice things about me -- probably driven by guilt.
I told my W I wanted to discuss the D papers after the kids were in bed. I asked her how she envisioned her proposal of us living together post-divorce (see earlier in thread where she proposed this). She gave the motivation of the expense of D and being able to see the kids every day. She would live in a granny unit (we would have to build one). I asked how she envisioned her life? For her nothing changes, she has her work and her friends.
I then asked my W why on the D petition she requested "sole physical custody". California also has a joint physical custody option. This really pissed me off because I am very involved in my kids life. Her reply was that it doesn't really matter what she put because it all has to negotiated. I asked her what type of schedule? She said maybe a rotating schedule of 4 days / 3 days between us. In my response to the petition I'll put joint.
I asked what she thought would happen to the house? She didn't say outright that if the idea of us living together post-D doesn't work out, then she wants the house. I suspect she does. I told her that it was likely neither one of us could keep the house because the California real estate has gone up so much that we don't have enough cash to buy each other out of the house. This is not quite true, I've been trying to think of creative ways to buy her out involving giving up most of my retirement (I'm in really good health, and in my job I can work into my 70s and planned to anyway).
Throughout the conversation it was me asking her questions. Lastly, I told her she must be very unhappy to see this as a solution. She started to get emotional, and I should have kept my mouth shut, but I continued my thought by saying ... "or as some friends suggested there's another man." She responded loudly, "yeah right, how and when? I don't have time for something like that." I agree and have no evidence or even suspicion there's another man. She then went on about how difficult it is for women over 40 to date, and that for me there's a lot of women who would date me. She mentioned how she was propositioned by a 69 year old man, and that was what she had to look forward to. I didn't say anything, but I disagree, both my W and I look young for our age.
So my W's vision is to be alone post-D. This is consistent with comments and things she's said over the past year or two.
So in bizarro world, my W then told me that another couple invited us to lunch this weekend at a local winery, and is Saturday or Sunday good for me? SOMEBODY HIT ME WITH A 2X4. Is this not cake-eating to the supreme? Hours after she serves me D papers, she is expecting me to go on a lunch date with her and our friends.
She wants to keep the parts of MR that she likes such as couple's social events and so forth. What does D do for her? I'm still unsure other than we don't have sex anymore.
