Ok, going to lay off of reminding her about going to IC unless she brings it up.
On a positive note(I think), wife has been helping more around the house, which has made things easier for me, as I have been having to do more with her in her own apartment. She has been coming over and reading with the kids before they go to bed, and she stated that she enjoyed dong this. Prior to BD2 she felt this was important. Post BD2 she stopped doing this along with caring for the boys less. At one point she stated, "I need to be selfish with my time and be happy. I need to focus on myself -- not you or the kids." I feel like she's valuing family a bit more since BD2.