How a treehouse can cost you your marriage 2

[Clyde]

Thank you all for the well wishes and congrats!

Everything is going great on the homefront, and while the W and I are just beginning or journey of rebuilding our lives together, all signs are very positive.

Prior to seperation we did quite a bit of MC together, the issues that were brought up during those sessions seem to be resolved or on there way to be resolved. The W is going above and beyond to make sure she considerate of the things that drove us to MC in the first place (as am I).

We have yet to go back to MC, nor have we talked about doing so. I have thought about bringing it up (I'm pretty sure she would not have a problem w/ going), however I am battling with my feelings/emotions of how she initiated the separation (false police reports/TRO). I think I should know exactly how I feel about these feelings before going into MC and bringing them up (if at all). As I have said in previous post that I forgave her for these actions and told her such, doing so helped me, helped open the door for a reconcile, but I can't say it healed me even though I wanted to believe that. I posted about 2 months ago, she allowed me to unload my feelings about it on her with out her giving me her excuses. Knowing my W, I would guess that she is under the impression that me unloading my feelings about it, counts as "addressing the issue", and maybe it should... I don't know, it happened and we cannot undue it, there is no doubt she saw the effects it had on our family, I know she is either battling or suppressing feelings of guilt for what she did to me.

So that being said, do I focus on the issues that got us to that point, and not bring it up again? Is bringing it up to her again going to help me find the healing I need? When I told her I forgave her, did I relinquish any right I had to further vocalize my feelings about it to her? For me, this issue would be the main reason for returning to MC as everything we covered in prior MC sessions is being addressed.

In hindsite I can honestly say that all the tears, the heartache, was focused on what was happening to our family, our kids, not waking up next to the woman I love etc... I never spent much time or emotion on her actions toward me (false police reports, TRO, harsh words). I still feel she was experiencing a MLC, does that give her somewhat of pass?

To be clear, these feelings I have are not constantly haunting me, but they are there. I am so relived and over joyed to have our family back together. It is so nice to see my W putting in the work to not only make our MR work, but make it better than before. (Don't misread that last sentence... yes I know I need to put the work in too, I only phrased it that way in reference to when she did not want anything to do w/ the MR much less work on it).

There is a Retrouvaille coming to our area in April, I am going to suggest to her that we attend.