waw maybe #2

[bhappy2]

W immediately states "You can't tell her what to do".

Wife was out of line.

I agree.

I then say that I was thinking of getting a tattoo as well and D18 asks what I would want to get and I said a tattoo of family on my wrist. W again tries to dis me by saying thats "Girly" I said getting family is girly,? and she said no where you want it is. I said your brother has one there and my nephew too. Why do they want to argue she knows I will not take the bait.

Depending on how she thought you meant getting a tattoo of family, probably set her off. To my ears, you sounded as if you were putting in a plug, and it backfired. You are actually baiting her whenever you make references about marriage or family. That's why we say to not point out good things about the M, or show old family photos, etc. She resents it and will act badly toward you. So, resist the urge.

BTW, if you ever have anyone's names or faces tattooed on your body, they need to be your children's. Spouses/lovers come and leave, but children will always be yours. I've seen a lot of guys put a woman's name on their body, only to M another one. Then every time the new woman looks at him, she sees the old woman's name forever engraved in his body....and so does he.

No and never will.

I still just don't understand if you want a D why do you not file? Cannot make logic out of illogical persons.

Then you've answered your own question. Why do you keep trying to understand an illogical woman?

Yes just stating the obvious.

Let me ask you something. What has she lost? She still gets to join in the family activities. You help her put on a front to others, so she won't feel embarrassed or pressed to answer uncomfortable questions. I'm just wondering what she has lost since the bomb drop.
My guess is that she hasn't lost much, b/c she is still benefiting from being M to you. She has all the comforts, can choose what she wants to partake in, and refuse any responsibility she doesn't want. Sounds like a pretty good setup.

She has lost nothing, nada, zilch. She gained a tremendous amount of money b/c she is not contributing towards the househould expenses.She used to buy groceries but that seems to have stopped. She also stopped cooking or it has come sporadically.

So I ask you this what am I supposed to do at this point? Do I file? Stop paying for everything?

Please guide me through the process.I have been getting out of the house doing things and I am completely ready to let go. Is it time for a talk with the W?