New Year, new thinking..

[Surv1ve]

Coly,

I am sorry to read that you're in so much pain. And, he isn't entitled to your niceties so if you want to stick to business and, from the sounds of it, keep dim, I think it's probably a great choice.

Job is probably right. He is not in a rush to be reminded of his behavior, but you also don't really want that constant reminder, either. So, give him a date and let him live with the consequences of his choice. You have given your H so much warmth and patience. It is okay to put yourself first.

As to the D, I get that. Has your H been in a rush to move forward with the other pieces? I think I'd fight a D tooth and nail, but I know (believe?) I have so much time before that's on my horizon, that I might not feel the same. In my area, we have to be living apart for 12 months before a D can happen.

But, the D doesn't mean you haven't kept your vows. You have. It also doesn't mean you don't deserve care and love and a committed partner. You do.