Other than that she recommend to: - continue to be patient, go slow - continue LRT (because it seems to be working) - don't tell her what to do - don't tell her to change her mind - listen to what she writes and appreciate her comments - take 100% responsibility for what went wrong
That all sounds like sound advice. Regarding the last item, you are not 100% responsible, but you have to accept 100% responsibility because your W is not willing to accept even 1%. Also if you've apologized to your W (as we all should at some point) then don't keep apologizing over and over. A good, genuine apology is great, but if you keep following it up with apologies then you start to look weak and insecure.
Originally Posted By: trbuste
Hm. Unexpectedly my W just responded to the carefully constructed email with:
Quote:
Thank you.
I wish you all the happiness in the world.
Notable is that her parents have been absent over the last 2 weeks (on holiday) which is probably which allowed her to work on some self-reflection.
There's zero self-reflection in that response, it is a very predictable, scripted, typical WAS response. What it says is "I read your email and it had zero impact on me, but I'm going to placate you with a polite response that still makes it clear I'm done with you." You've got to understand her timeline for recovery is very, very long. She will not be doing ANY self-reflection for months yet, and even after she starts it's going to be a long process of months or even a year or more before she gets anywhere with it. And it's a journey she must take alone. You can't help, all you can do is remove the pressure from her and give her time and space.
