AS and Jim: Right now separation is not in the cards for me. I had told my W last weekend "this would be easier if you moved out." She cried and said, "how would you feel if I told you to move out?" I replied in an almost laughing voice, "Well, you told me you want a divorce." So she's not moving out and neither am I. I think I want to keep the house after a D. I still need to think it over and all the options, and make sure staying in the house is not just an emotional response to lots of unwanted change.
I came home a little late yesterday and W was cooking dinner with my girls in the kitchen. I sat down and we were all talking. I got a call from a colleague and started talking about an issue from work that's been going on for awhile. I did walk away as I talked, but W overhead some of the conversation and she asked me about it. I gave her a one word answer and then continued with the rest of the conversation. I was happy and upbeat the whole dinner. After dinner D11 wanted to play a board game. I said yes, but it is better with at least three players. My two teens didn't want to but my W joined us. The three of us played the game, joked, laughed and had a good time. I then got up and went to the MBR.
I've reread the LRT many times. It's where most people on this board are. The LRT while living together is tough to implement. I don't pursue my W, but through our kids and living together we interact and I'm not going to be hostile to her. I don't ask her about her day, I don't offer her anything about mine, I don't do anything for her unless it is for everyone, I don't ask where she is or tell her where I'm going.
Having fun with the game might help remind her of what she is giving up. Or have her think that I am somebody she could have a MR with. However, I guess at this point I have less than a 1 in 10 chance of not being D by the end of 2018.
