I'm not clear exactly what I want. I came here to save my marriage, but I also need to see some compromise or negotiation. We're leaning toward mediation. That could help settle disputes, bring in fresh air, or turn into a battle that requires attorneys. I read that mediation has a higher chance of saving marriages that court.
Mostly, I want to feel good, physically, and emotionally, again. The detachment approach really helps. I have a history of being a victim at times. But I'm giving that up, believing that whatever happens will be for the best and bring me happiness. Anger and resentment are self-inflicted punishment.
Yes, I want to keep the house. WAW has been nice, but at one point told me "I can make you sell the house." I think she said that intending to show how reasonable she is being, because she does not want me to have to sell the house. I had been through the online LRT video course a couple times before she made that comment, so I said nothing in response, just looked at her. It felt good to not take the bait, even if it wasn't intended as bait.
My health is in recovery, and my diabetes is quite well managed, so I don't feel like I have chronic health problems. I'm on my way back, and beginning to practice what the LRT suggests -- become the person that your spouse was originally attracted to. My copy of DR arrived in the mail today, so now I can read chapter 2.
I've recently concluded my W is having a MLC. , even if she's 57, the signs are there. Her best friend got a D a few years ago, now dates a Harley Motorcycle man and wears Harley gear all the time. So my W no longer talks to the woman who was her best friend. W has also broken off from another long-term friend, and had another friend move far away to another state.
Also, W tried starting three independent businesses involving network marketing, sales, and coaching, with limited success. Now she watches TV a lot, has lost motivation. Plus, she is still is unclear about how to get her son to accept the help he needs. So she is sort of lost, and shifts between saying she's depressed and denying depression.
It makes me very sad when I think about it. I feel for her. I want my happy, charming, laughing W back. Most people love her.
It's like MWD says, your life goes to pieces, and you look around, and who is standing there, but your spouse, so you think, "I'll just get rid of him, maybe that will fix it."
Married 15, Together 17 M: 59, W: 57, SS: 28 BD: 12/21/2017 My 1st M; W 2nd M
