New LBS dealing with WW Part 4

[Joe2017]

AS:
That was really really great to read. I actually went to a D recovery class earlier today and they talked about emotional relapses. I think that's pretty much what happened to me. I did really well up to a point and some trigger set me off falling back down the tunnel. I have since picked myself up and started walking back out. You're right about the + / - attributes we give our emotions. I am expressing myself here openly because it allows me to work through the noise in my head, and it also helps me be strong in my home and at my job. I am going to be OK and I'm going to make my life better.

Sandi:
I hear you, loud and clear. Each day I am pushed away from WW by her actions. I know this is WW and not W. But I can't hold onto W. She won't be coming back. She's deeply set in her wayward ways. I had never been abused by W before, but for WW it's a daily occurrence.

V:
I'm doing my best to detach, but sometimes it is a moment by moment thing for me. I've been consistent with active DB during interactions with WW. I'm getting decent at technique but I need more work on the foundations of detachment. I'm very outwardly detached, but internally I think I'm holding onto a glimmer of hope that W will fight through the fog and come back. I have been focused on that too much. You are right. I am going to read the lighthouse again. I read Sandi's rules often, but I will do better. I do think moving out is on the table for me. I'll have to give it more thought.

Ginger:
You are right, it is abusive here. I am considering my options right now. It will be difficult getting an apartment, but may just be worth it. I'm also well aware of the reasons to stay in the MH.

Thank you, everyone. Earlier I saw S16 give S14 the biggest hug ever and it reminded me of why I stayed in the MH to begin with. I'm so proud of my boys. They both deserve much better than this sitch. Even if tomorrow is my last day in MH, that hug between my sons makes me think that these struggles have been worth it.