good evening, PsySara... back in September 2016 you posted an update where you sent your H a link to something called TalkingParents... something like that... to help parents who are considering divorce to communicate... H got SCARED... i was a lurker at that point... i had been lurking on the DB site for about 18 months at that point, and had read many, many threads... when i read that post, i thought: this girl gets it! she is DBing and she is on her way... not long after that, you shared with your H that you believed you got a message that you two were meant to be together... H pulled back big time... and that was the last time you seemed strong to me...
you go through cycles where you seem resolved to move on, and H softens, and then the cycle continues... but in all the cycling, i do not think you have been as strong as you were back in September 2016...
after your experience with Retrouvaille, you have questioned the DB method a couple of times... my observation is, rarely does anybody come to this site and DB through and through... most go through pieces of DBing... because it is difficult... it is scary... it is painful... most people cannot bring themselves to believe doing what seems unnatural could actually help... i said this earlier: you have not required much from your H before you take him back... each time you have allowed him back in, he came in not doing any of the work...
for DBing to have a fighting chance to work, to bring a marriage together, the LBS has to have the stomach to see it through... and even then, there is no guarantee... most people who come here are giving it what they can, God bless them, but that is not enough... most of those LBSs who are giving it all they can do not have the stomach to do it fully...
i say this to say, it may seem like DBing doesn't have a high success rate, but in all fairness to the DB process, most people do not follow it to the Nth degree... it's too uncomfortable...
