yes--leave out all the minutia, including the relationship with BFF... the not coming clean on stuff and the rebel talk (although i will get back to these two items later)... sleeping on the couch... etc...
your "I'm not getting enough..." statement is good... you can try to leave it at that... of course, she will respond... you can let her have her say, and still stick with your statement that you are not getting enough... you can tell her, if you must, that her not coming clean on stuff and the rebel talk indicate to you that she is not fully committed to the relationship... if you want to keep it short, just mention the rebel talk... and leave it at that... be warm, loving... because you do love her... but because you love her, you cannot go on living like friends, roommates...
i want to reiterate, my H and i were legally separated for 2.5 years... and physically separated for a good 6 months before we were legally separated... we lived a part... we lived separate lives... we had interactions from time to time because we do have 2 sons... and his father passed away during that time, and my father had a major life-threatening surgery during that time... i went through a lot before i was able to come back to him... he went through a lot to get to a healthy place.. i had some IC during our time a part... so did he... when i approached him about reconciliation, his first requirement was that i set up IC for myself immediately... secondly, i had to commit to MC... i set that up for us, immediately... we had ups and downs during MC... sometimes we would come away hurt, angry, annoyed... i guess i am saying this again so you know that it may take your living apart to get your marriage back... and then if and when it happens, you will still experience growing pains...
