FC: This in house S is one of the hardest things I've ever done, too. It is so bad because my WW makes it that way. She will come home and interrupt everyone to demand things from me in front of the children. She will tell her son not to talk to me. She uses them as pawns to further her goal of trying to make me move out. She questions my kid about me and accuses him of covering up for me.
You eat dinner together. My WW makes it perfectly clear that I am never to feed her son, and will feed ONLY him and make it happen at a separate time. So, while I don't have any real great advice I can say that the dynamic in your house could be a lot worse than it is.
Joe, what you describe is horrible, and yes it could be a lot worse. Too bad your WW cannot see how this is damaging to the kids. For me the biggest issue is we always see each other. Yesterday, my W had a dinner and came home late. It was nice to have dinner and relax afterwards without her around. Not because she's hateful like your W, but because her being there creates a tension.
