During our 25+ years of marriage we have over come some very hard and sad situations. I reminded her of this and then proceeded to tell her that I know that with out a doubt we could have a life without each other. I continue by letting her know my choice to stand and fight for our marriage was my choice. It is not a matter of winning or showing you I’m right. I’m here with you because I want to be and it is your choice to be out of our home and I will support you where I can as long as we are honest to one another.
Although this post was last month, I want to respond to it. As I've tried to point out previously, these type of talks pushes her. It is a lot of emotional pressure for someone in your W's condition.
Like so many LBH's, you want to fix the situation, and in your eyes that means you need to be doing "the next step". The next step is to stop having these type of talks. You need to allow her to come to you with her concerns. But if you take this stuff to her, you are taking a big risk of setting things back. Also, she needs to work through her issues with being with her children full time, before putting them through that experience again.
Quote:
I will ask my question again.
Can anyone give some insite on retrovi or the 3 day marriage help work shop.
I have no personal experience. There use to be talk about it on the board, but I haven't heard much in a while. 25YRSMLC used to encourage people to attend. I have seen her write that both spouses need to be willing, and I think she said that if there was an affair that they would not sign you up. You can ask her. I've heard that their sessions are very intense, and they also have follow up sessions.
Quote:
What do I do just follow her lead?
As long as you are seeing positive results, I would say it is the correct move.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
