Separated after 9y and W says it is the end. Help!

[lcause]

Oh, I do not know what would I do in this situation.

Thanks for helping me. It is my 2nd month and I am still not where I would like to be. Worst part is I am struggling to have a clear plan to execute. I find that my mind is seeking some solutions, or after the last discussion with my W, ways out for myself. I get an idea, like going back home, and forcing my wife out, but then I changed my mind (for good).
Normally I am a person that takes immediate decisions. But in this situation I still do not have a plan, and probably that is why it is so frustrating.
Also, unfortunately, I still love her as well.

Let your mind do that. Accept it because it is only natural... it will take time. There's no hurry. We are individuals and our healing process takes a different amount of time. I just want you to try to progress and not stay still. Try to start small, decide on small things. Build on that. Watch some comedies and laugh a little, just a tiny bit. Start speaking more to people you don't know, just add a few words to conversation with the cashier next time when you buy groceries. Little small talk. Baby steps, don't force yourself too much because then you will end up falling harder if it doesn't work.

I know you love her. But you also feel the loss of control. I felt the same way - I thought I lost the love of my life. But as time has gone by, I've started to see the negative things. Not to say you'd get this feeling, but just to show you an example

I dispute your stance on reconciliation, RC is possible if given enough time and the correct management of the situation. Of course we have no control over our WS actions but that’s not the point here that’s NOT Divorce Busting!

I have never said that reconciliation is impossible.

I think you're right about recon in the sense that every LBS will have a shot at it at some point. Whether or not that can actually lead to a recon process is up in the air.

This is where the timeline issue comes in. If the WAS/WW/WH want to recon, and it's truly on their timeline when that might happen, it's very possible that the LBS has moved on by then. Also, this personal journey that the LBS is going through works against their partner because the LBS is getting to a place where they won't take their partner back as is.

I don't believe in this. The reconciliation percentage would be higher otherwise. I have to really disagree on this with AS. However, if you get hope to make yourself a better person by believing this (like AS does/did), by all means do. Personally, my motivation stems from my inner core and reconciliation does not hold any value in it for me anymore. I want to be a better person because of myself. I want to achieve things now for myself, not because of how others see me or how they define me. I do honestly think the beginning of my process was as hard as it was because I kept believing in this statement. It's like no matter what I do I get a chance... brain easily gets accustomed to this comfort so why do anything? Reconciliation happens if it happens, no one can predict the future. It is your time to focus solely on yourself now and be the person you want to be. Experiment and learn to enjoy the journey because the journey is what we all live for. Journey creates the excitement, it's the life with all of its ups and downs.